7 måder at spille i seng uden at føle sig dum

Kære DR. JENN,

Jeg tror, ​​jeg ville være i rollespil, men jeg har aldrig haft det imod at foreslå det. How do I bring it up with my boyfriend … and perform the experiment without feeling stupid? -Fransk Maid

DEAR FRENCH MAID,

Rollespil giver dig mulighed for at engagere dig i et forførelsesspil, hvor du og din partner spiller en række forskellige tegn. This can mean anything from channeling your inner bath to bed to put an elaborate action up and even taking the show on the road..

One reason why people can play a character in a sexual context is that it can help us overcome obstacles. We can test things, we are too keen or embarrassed to try ourselves, but it feels completely natural to another character. Hvis tingene bliver lidt for kinky for komfort, når du opfører din franske maid persona, det er nemt at glide out of your costume and back in your own skin. Rollen skaber en skel. Det var hende; det er dig.

Alt for mange mennesker er fascineret af rollespil, men never try it because of the same concerns you have. De bekymrer sig om at blive dømt for deres fantasier. Or they worry about, they will feel dumb to act out – but not all fantasies must be set for cheesy jazz music and have a pizza deliveryman that appears in a motel.

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Try these tips to get into the character.

1) Find din fortrolighed

At finde ud af, hvordan man broder emnet er normalt den største hindring for første timere. Hvis du føler dig genert, er mit nummer et tip til at bygge din fantasi på et rigtigt billede, du ser på din bue. Det er den perfekte segue. Efter at have set en politibetjent i uniform, you might say: “A man in uniform is so sexy. You would look so hot in a costume like that. I would love it if you would arrest me!” Or show him a foto af en fransk tjenestepige, du så og spørge om han gerne vil se dig i det.

Another common approach I like is the “dream I had.” Fortæl ham, at you had a dream of being his submissive, for example, and you liked it more than you expected to. What does he think? Ville han give det et spin for en aften?

You can even send a screenshot of a look you’d like to try or begin to imply on the scenario you would like to act via sms. This is an easy way to test the water.

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2) Erklære soveværelset en domfrit zone

For at have really good sex please feel free to talk about your fantasies and wishes without them. Before you play the role, make a pact with your partner that you will never laugh at each other’s sexual performance, fantasies or choices – and commit to keeping your sex life private. Share not explicit details, even with your closest friends. Køn er sårbart, og for at kunne udforske det frit, må vi vide, at andre ikke bliver fortalt om vores proclivities. When you have the guarantee out of the way, both of you will feel more comfortable, leaning into your kinky sides.

3) Accepter, ved fantasier ikke altid er politisk korrekt

What we want in bed is often contrary to our ideological beliefs and the way we see ourselves. I have been in my decade with clinical work, and I have heard all possible role-players who appear to be opposed to how people present themselves in the world: the feminist human rights activist who likes to play a sex slave in bed, the serious engineer who likes to try på en cheerleader karakter, fodbold mor, hvilken rolle spiller som en high-end call girl.

It is often difficult for us to accept these wishes as parts of ourselves when they are so drastically antitimate to what we want and feel in everyday life. Mænd på tage en rolle i seng handler om at spille med magt, ikke om at få scenariet til at realisere; These wishes exist only one plan and we must be able to create peace with the compartmentalization. The sleeping room must be a place where we can play with dominance, submission, roaming, risk and even degradation for as long as it is consistent. And we must be able to do it without feeling ashamed for or from ourselves or our partners.

4) Start med ord

I recommend not to start your first role-playing game with full costume, new vocabulary and public excursions. Start at the end, by pretending to be another character at home in the bed. Hvis du for eksempel er rollespil, du er en gymnasium fodboldspiller og cheerleader, kan du sigeke i hans øre: “We may not have to do that with your parents in the other room, but I fancy since I saw you on fodboldpraksis! “Gem kostumerne til, når du er helt komfortabel med begynderens kursus.

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5) Indstil grænser på forhånd

When you are in character together, you can say and do things that awake and are fun in the context of role playing, but unacceptable elsewhere, so it is important to set limits in advance. Consent is not a catch all you may have agreed to play a fantasy out, but that does not mean that you have accepted it any retning, som fantasi kan tage. Samtykke kan også udløbe. Sometimes we agree on things, but when we actually implement them, they do not feel so good and therefore you need a security word when role playing. This applies especially when it comes to fantasies that cause physical dominans.

6) Vælg fra en liste

Not sure what direction to go in? Sometimes it’s easier to shop from a list of options – which also means that you do not have to take responsibility for coming up with the scenario. Her are some of the most common things that have come up with my clinical practice:

  • Hitchhiker / chauffør
  • Leverandør / kunde
  • Professor / elev
  • Stripper / klient
  • Pornostjerner
  • Cheerleader / fodboldspiller
  • Strangers i en bar
  • Dominerende / underdanig
  • Uniformed servicearbejder / civile
  • Kok / server
  • Massage terapeut / klient
  • voyeur
  • Royalty / tjener
  • Boss / medarbejder
  • Cop / kriminel
  • Sexarbejder / klient
  • Pirat / fangenskab
  • Træner / atlet
  • Teenagers try not to get caught
  • Snyd ægtefæller
  • Vampyr / tilbud
  • Jobansøger / ansættelsesleder
  • Warden / fange
  • Rock star / groupie
  • Virgin / erfarne person

7) suspender vantro

Folk føler sig ofte dumme og latterlige, når de starter rollespil. Skubbe forbi denne selvdømmelse is crucial for getting to the fun stuff. Prøv at kaste dig selv i en rolle som om du var på scenen, læsning fra et script. Sometimes you can wear a costume, change your hairstyle or change your makeup look, help you get into the character. Eksperiment ved at forplichtte til at forblive i karakter i en vis mængde tid; The more time there, the less awkward you want to feel. Mænd er det vigtigste engagement i at gøre, når rollespil ikke er at dømme selv eller din partner. This is the key to opening the door to the many sexy characters that live in you both.